4th in the world!

My goal for this year was to be as consistent as possible. The year has been the exact opposite of that. But sometimes we achieve our goals in the most unpredictable way and that's something I am still learning to accept. Every coach, every sport psychologist will tell you to envision your competitions and how you would like them to go. And that's a great exercise but what if nothing goes your way? What if the least predictable thing happens?

If I have learned anything this year, it's to adapt and improvise. I thought that the only way to do well in the world cup ranking is to race every single race and be consistent. That plan was ruined with the first race of the season and me getting sick. While that is very predictable with a toddler in day care, it was not on my plan or my visions for the season. Neither was not recovering from that pneumovirus and still experiencing symptoms 4 weeks later in Greece. I thought I lost so much fitness back then but noooo. I really lost it when I crashed in US and ended up having two surgeries and horse doses of antibiotics.

Yet, after every single setback I faced this year, I went back to work no matter how hard my mind protested and climbed back to that world cup podium. I secured myself 2nd place overall in the second last race and even mediocre 6th place in the Molveno short track couldn't take that away from. Paradoxically (or symbolically?), I raced the last races of the season ill just liked I started it back in March. Only this time I had nothing to lose.

Racing ill is something I try to avoid and would not recommend to anyone. But when it's the last race of the season and world championship you do make exceptions. I was very frustrated and little bit defeated before the world champs race. It was never the goal of the season and it felt like I already achieved what I came for so why to race at all? Plus I was little bit intimidated by the competitive field and didn't think I have the fitness required for such a race. Not the mind set you want to have before the biggest race of the year.

It has probably the most chaotic race I have ever experienced. I have led for a moment, I have fallen down to 6th position just to climb back to 3rd and eventually finish 4th. I am very proud how I executed the race and that I have never given up (trust me, I was very close to). 4th can be pretty bittersweet but I was genuinely happy when I finished. Mostly because I survived the conditions in one piece to be fair. But it also leaves me with what if I raced healthy.

The season is now over. It's time to heal the body and reset the mind. I am not sure what next year will bring and what goals I will set for myself. But I know one thing - I am not done yet.